Tales of the Parodyverse

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Al B. Harper
Fri Jul 08, 2005 at 10:28:07 pm EDT
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Al B. Harper Chapter 10: Hallie
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Hello gentle reader.

Here we are outside the firehouse in Gothametropolis York that used to serve as the Abandoned Legion HQ and is now EEE! Headquarters.

Isn’t it a lovely bright sunny day?

See the hot-chick in overalls lying partially underneath a funky red sports car? She’s Amy Ashton, EEE! member and mechanic. The youngish man with flaming red hair sitting next to her is none other than Nats! I’m sure you’ve heard of him before, no? Let’s see what they’re up to…

****


Amy Ashton: “Wrench!”

Nats: “I am not! Oh…wait.” *Nats hands Amy the wrench*

Amy: “Spark-plug!”

Nats: *Sigh* “How did my role become so badly reversed?” *He hands Amy the spark-plug*

****


Well reader, we could watch them for some time yet, however we’ll move on inside the firehouse.

Look, there are some people in there…

****


Al B. Harper: “So, I hear you’re thinking of leaving the Legion?”

Hallie: “How did you hear tha…Flapjack! One of these days…”

Al B.: “How I heard is irrelevant, is it true?” He looks up from the complex calculation he was working on to stare deep into the green-hued AI’s eyes.

Hallie finds she can’t look into Al B.’s intense stare and looks away. “Well, I was thinking of it, yes.”

Al B.: “Why Hallie?”

Hallie: “Well, not that I’d ever eavesdrop, however being an AI connected to the mansion mainframe as I am, I do tend to overhear things every now and again…and it seems Sir Mumphrey is considering some new members for the Legion. I can’t say who…but I fear they make me redundant.”

Al B. gives a snort: “Nonsense!” He scoffs. “You could never be redundant. How much of that is Visionary talking?”

Hallie: “Visionary??”

Al B.: “Yes, I know the two of you are close…”

Hallie: *pauses*

****


Elsewhere:

The man in Annapolis sitting down at his computer reading an online story looks up with a start as an animated green woman pops up on his screen and starts….jiggling.

“We are close, aren’t we?” The woman says as she, err, jiggles. She gives the man a big wink.

The man snorts his drink out his nose.

****


Back at the Firehouse.

Hallie: “Yes, we are close…and with Visionary no longer a member my role will be greatly reduced.”

Al B.: “Visionary is no longer going to be a member?!?”

Hallie: “Oh, err…I mean ‘IF’, yes, if Visionary is no longer a member…”

Al B.: “And this makes your role reduced how?”

Hallie: “Well, aside from Visionary, and perhaps from time to time Epitome when he was a member, I don’t really interact with the other Legionnaires all that much.”

Al B.: “What a load of hooey! What about that time you and I had that multi-part team up against Evil Monkey?”

Hallie: *looks at Al B. blankly*

Al B.: “And then there was that time you, and Dancer, and Lisa and Trickshot all went undercover as members of Magenta St Evil’s Femizons. Why that adventure lasted a least five issues, and we all still love to rile “Tickallinna” about it to this day. You all interacted and bonded after that!”

Hallie: “I…must have to go and re-read the archives, I’m not sure if the LL’er responsible for writing up those adventures has done so yet…”

****


Elsewhere:

Brisbane, Australia to be precise.

The man would have jumped with a start as the animated figure of swarthy arch-scientist Al B. Harper popped up on his computer screen and said “No, he hasn’t written them down yet!” However, the man was on his mobile phone and no longer looking at his computer.

The Man: “Free beer and chicks? I’m there!” He leaves without even turning off his computer.

Al B. animated icon: *Sigh* “See what I have to put up with?”

****


Back at the Firehouse:

Al B.: “So you see Hallie, you’re an integral part of this crazy band of Legionnaires we have. In fact, if Visionary does leave, I think we should recommend you to replace him as an Associate, if not a full member. Yes, that’s it. In fact, I’m going to speak to Sir Mumphrey about it now.” *He runs off before Hallie can reply*

Hallie: “…”

The end??

Al B. Harper


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